My Big Confession

On September 12th, 2019, it will be seven years since I lost 113 pounds.  It is amazing to me how time flies. I still remember how I felt, like if it was yesterday.

I was Free. 
Free from Cancer. 
Free from Obesity. 
Free from Medications.

But like many others, I experienced some unexpected life events that triggered some old and familiar habits and I began to slowly gained some of my weight back.  I ended up gaining 40 pounds back regardless of me working out almost on a daily basis, and teaching fitness classes to seniors.  It is true what they say "no amount of exercise can undo a bad diet."

Thinking that I can hide my truth, I started hiding my body in bigger clothes telling myself that people would not notice if I did this.  I was in complete denial.  I was hurting inside, but I
was fooling only myself - because it showed not only in my old clothes, but in my performance at the gym.  My body broke completely down.

I felt ashamed, upset, angry, sad to have let this happen to me again after I worked so hard to get where I was.
I knew that this time was more than just losing the weight, I needed to go to the root of the issues.

Even though I was lying to myself, I was aware of what was going on with my weight and my mind,  and I  really did not want to end up where I started from seven years ago.

In January 2019, I made a declaration that I wanted to lose the 40 pounds that I gained so I can feel free again… Free from the weight and destructive habits FOREVER!  Free not only from the physical weight, but also the weight that was weighing me down mentally and spiritually. I have a lot of work to do, but I am willing to put in the effort and the work that it is require and necessary.  Things don't happen overnight, you have to be consistent and patient.

Hubby and I in Vegas celebrating our 20th Anniversary
This year is an epic year for me- on March 27th I celebrated 20 years married to my number one fan, supporter, and life-love. On May 5th I will be celebrating 10 years of being cancer free.  That is a big milestone for me.  And lastly, I will be turning the BIG 6-0 on September 13th. This my friends is a blessing.

I decided that this is the year I will take my power back and lose the weight for good,  I know I  inspired people, (cause they tell me, I am not being cocky!) but I need to fly higher and show people that life happens, and we don't have to stay down or defeated.  We just don't fly- We soar!

As I started my weight loss journey this second time around with more knowledge than before, I learned that what I did seven years ago was not working for me this time.  I had to go deeper - I had to change my mind set and know that food was not going to solve any of my problems that life throws at me -- I am an emotional eater, therefore I need to be aware of my emotions as they are happening, and embrace them instead of numbing them with food.

I also learned that the type of diet or I should say the way of eating that worked for me seven years ago was not working for me this time around. At least not to the extend that it did before.  So I started trying other new things that I had never had the opportunity to try before. I introduced intermittent fasting (8 hrs. of feasting/16 hrs of fasting) into my life in mid February as well as cutting out sugar and simple carbs.  As of  4/19/19 I have lost 19.4 pounds.  I am almost half way there. Yay! I am learning to celebrate all the steps - the good ones and the bad ones. It is all part of the process.

As we evolve so does our body, so we just need to find what works for us the best.  It does get a little challenging as we get older, but it is possible to do.  Things are never easy but when you really want them you will find the way, make the plan and follow the plan. 
I know there is still work to do … but IT ISN’T DREADFUL anymore!

The combination of fasting, fitness and freedom has changed me and I know that this equation will take me to my ultimatum goal by the time I hit my seven year anniversary of losing my original weight. Yes! Yes!

I know that I am powerful beyond measure, stronger than I think and blessed with all I need. 

It feels so good to write this post, and my soul feels so light now that I am sharing my truth publicly, and without any shame.  I feel FREE of the negativity and I am out of the dark place where I was. I am not too particularly concerned of judgements because I know I am not the first nor I will be the last to fall.

I know that there will be events in my life that will perhaps take me off alignment, but the difference is that today I know that I have no control of the events, but I do have control of my response which helps me with the outcome.

I will keep you posted on my journey, and update you on the ups and the downs I'm sure.  Make no  mistakes there will NEVER be a perfect road, but I want you to know that quitting is NOT an option for me.


 Editor's Note:   If you are interested and want to know more about Intermittent Fasting  you can visit  www.oneactivationaway.com

I want to take this opportunity to thank some people-- remember no battle is fought alone - 
I want to thank one of my teachers, Natalia Maldonado-Feinberg for inspiring me to write this post -to bring my truth to light, and to always be authentic and transparent.  Thank you for your support always. You were God sent to me.
Thank you to my friend Gwyn Brooks for inspiring me to try something new. 
I want to thank my cheer-leading Squad-- 
My friend Rena Fein, who is my workout partner, thank you for your relentless attitude and for always having kind and loving words for me.   Thank you to my Sati365 group "Team Dream and Do" for their limitless support.  I want to thank my teacher, friend and trainer Ketsy Santiago- for always giving me that needed push forward, and doing it with patience and love, and ultimately my thanks and love to my rock - my husband - for his support and believing in me sometimes more than I do in myself.  xoxo

Patti




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